mixed emotions

right now, i am at a state of... well i dunno. mixed emotions, and uncertainties.

anytime next week, the result of my application for a mobile content manager in singapore will come out. i am excited to go there and work. but, i am a bit scared because it's a new world ahead if i get it. i will be working with australians, europeans, singaporeans, etc. i don't know the reception among pinoys in sg, after the hostage-taking mishap in quirino grandstand. nevertheless, i am prepared.

i didn't expect myself to have an interest to work abroad. why? because i love the philippines. but, i came to a point where i got tired of life here: traffic, metro manila hassle, crime, security, low salary, too much emotional people, too much drama, etc. i love the philippines, don't get me wrong. but, i hate the system. i hate the government. i hate corruption, and how people respond to it.

singapore is one huge decision i made. there was doha and sg before. i picked sg because it's near. airfare is cheap specially where there are promos.

when i was in high school, i also had this feeling. i grew up and spent my whole life in the province of or. mindoro (my beloved). living a life in manila seemed exciting and scary. i was excited to go to malls, experience independence, and college life.

singapore, what do you have in store for me? well, my plan is to save money first. more money to help myself to become stable, travel, watch world cup 2012, get married, buy macbook and camera, house, vw beetle, damn i have lots of plan.

last week, i lost an inspiration/motivation to go to singapore. i am really sorry for the hassle i caused. she got mad and all. i don't think she'll ever talk to me again. i can't approach her or send her a message first. if losing her attention and interest to communicate is my consequence for the blunder, i can not argue anymore. i know my mistakes, and i am really sorry for it. i just hope she'd realize that things changed specially when i got know her more... when like grew more than just as simple emotion. lo siento senorita amr.

if i don't get this job, february is my plan b. no matter what, i will leave for singapore, with or without a job. maybe after singapore, jobs in australia, europe awaits me. good luck and God bless mr. walanjo man!